My experiences with MS so far.....

I was diagnosed with MS just a short time ago, October 5th 2005. I am 29. I had numbness and tingling from the ribcage down to my feet and was admitted to hospital for a week for all the tests in the world! (Loving those Lumbar Punctures........NOT!!!)

Funny, but it seems to me from my research, that most MSers can remember the exact date of diagnosis, even if it was years ago. Something changes on that day inside you, what seemed certain is now unknowable, what seemed strong (even if it still is), now has potential weakness. But the main change, in my limited experience, is psychological.

All the people with MS that I have spoken to so far, whether they are mildly affected, severely affected, relapsing or in temporary remission, all have a separate challenge to deal with mentally.

From what I've experienced so far, there is the shock/denial that occurs at diagnosis, the questioning 'Why me?', 'Did I cause this?' etc. Not helped by the numerous explanations offered to you from well wishers 'Perhaps its because you are overweight' (in my case), or 'The diagnosis must be wrong'.

MS is so difficult to deal with, for sufferers and friends/family alike, mainly due to the lack of knowledge in medical science and therefore a frustration is felt by all who are unable to help forecast how it will behave in each case, or treat the cause as opposed to just manage the symptoms. Also the 'invisible' symptoms are not just unwelcome, but difficult to explain or believe from an outsider's perspective.

Fatigue can be perceived as laziness and the strange numbness, tingling and electric shock sensations (which are my main symptoms this time), do not show themselves to the world and so can be ignored to a large extent.

But personally, I have been fairly cheerful all the way though the diagnosis process, feeling calm most of the time and supporting friends and family when they have felt negative about it. I have a sneaking suspicion that my own calm acceptance will be followed by some sort of psychological reaction - so watch out for handbags at dawn!!!!

But for now (though bear in mind my symptoms this relapse are fairly mild - or is that my denial speaking?!!) - what's the point of being negative or playing the victim? Life is uncertain for everyone, I just have an added game of chance that my body will play on a regular basis!